The parenting series

Part one: It might not happen as quick as anticipated….

Photo by Dominika Roseclay on Pexels.com

This is a series I have been thinking of doing. Inspired by multitudes of my patients and addressing some issues that are related to the parenting journey in general… I am hoping that the upcoming little snippets of the journey to parenting, some very personal to me, shine a light on a topic that is rarely talked about in normal conversation. All those struggling with fertility or struggling with parenthood, just know that I see you and hope by normalising the conversation you can stop hiding your own struggles and feel open to talking to your GP.

Part 1: It might not happen as quick as anticipated…

It was a lovely weekday when Rebecca* and Sam* arrived for their appointment. They were a lovely young couple in their late twenties, and they had jumped through all the adulting milestones and were ready to be parents. Except, it was not happening which understandably was frustrating for them. They had got married, bought their house, got their large family car, and updated their health insurance for the upcoming stork delivery but it seemed the stork had the wrong address.

With the unrelenting questions of “when are you having babies?” from friends and family they had finally decided to come and see me for some assistance.

We started unpacking their presentation. They had already downloaded some apps to track her ovulation and they would have sex every day at the times when the app was saying and despite that, it was now 6 months later, and they were over the disappointment that came with the monthly period.

This was an easy one, or at least there was still room to move before we needed to refer them for specialist intervention.

First, we discussed that at their age they had 30% chance of falling pregnant with every cycle which is always interesting as most people tend to think the chances of conception are very high. Sure, if they were 16, they could have sneezed* and had an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy but usually when pregnancy is wanted, it does not always seem to follow the script as required.

Also, given their age and relative health, they were technically allowed to try for about 12 months in total before we started to investigate for medical issues that might be the cause of their difficulty in getting impregnated.

Additionally, although the ovulation apps let you know then the ovum/egg is released from the ovary, if you think of how small a sperm is and how far it must go to meet the sperm, it makes sense that if there is no sperm already at the end of the tube waiting for the egg to be released, you are already too late. Having said that, going at It like rabbits is not likely to help either as the amount of sperm in the semen is likely to reduce with time.

So as the consultation continued, I could sense their relief there were remedies we could trial before they were officially “sick”. First, they were to use the ovulation information they already knew but start the horizontal dance twice during the week and once on the weekend from about 5 days prior to ovulation until at least 5 days after the egg left the ovary. That would hopefully bring back the fun of doing the dance but also hopefully the reduced frequency will mean the concentration of sperm is maintained in the semen increasing the chances of getting knocked up. 

They left my consultation room looking more hopeful than when they arrived with some homework to consider. A few months later, Rebecca arrived with smiles beaming. She had peed on a stick and saw 2 lines…

*not real names or real patients

PS: remember that this blog entry does not constitute medical advice. If you have any questions of a medical nature, contact your nearest medical facility for help.

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Youth week celebrations

 

Friday April 5th -Sunday April 14th is time to celebrate Victorian Youth Week this year. I will be participating in one of the many Africa Day Australia activities that will be going on as we celebrate the young people around us. I cant wait to meet with everyone and be among the young minds of Victoria. Hope to see you there.

When: Saturday 13th April 12:30- 1630

Where: Library at the Dock , 107 Victoria Harbour Promenade, Docklands Vic 3008

Losika Writes at ABC Australia!!!

Losika Writes ABC radio Melbourne

“A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men.” – Proverbs 18:16

Losika Writes has truly opened many a door for me and has brought me before great men, and women hehe. I have had the opportunity to go to ABC Australia Melbourne studios to not only talk about my passion project of ensuring that every African child growing up in the diaspora has books in their native language, but to also talk about important issues of motherhood and general practice. I am looking forward to where all this leads and hoping the universe guides me as I navigate what I truly believe is a calling.

Support our side hustle and know that when you do, you enable us to fulfil our why.

Our first market…

Losika Writes had its first market at the One Beat One Love festival and it was awesome meeting and having chats with people who are interested in celebrating cultural diversity in our beautiful Melbourne city. Cultural diversity week allowed us to meet with multitudes of people coming together to acknowledge the flavour we all bring to our society. The conversations were eye opening and we got to meet so many people who champion diversity in workplaces, on book shelves and everywhere else.

“It is NOT our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences” Audre Lorde

We are looking at having many more markets and excited to meet everyone who ventures to our little corner of the world.

The side hustle continues…

I had a beautiful chat with Anisha from Cultural Pulse about Losika Writes and our reason WHY! She has published a beautiful article about our big quest to shine a light on all the beautiful native languages of  sub Saharan Africa. Have a read by clicking on the link and celebrating multicultural achievements with us.

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Making a clone…

I would have never believed you if you said you could make an exact duplicate of yourself but with Losika I think I may have done exactly that.

Now most people are quick to talk about our looks and how we look very similar which I suppose is common. There are however, things that he has done that have shocked me as I identify myself in them from being about his age to now. Below I have listed those that are still fresh of mind

  1. Nail biting – now I must admit I still do this even now but I am always conscious of not doing that when he is around. But he not only bites his finger nails, he bites his toenails too which I also disgustingly did until my late teens so its not like I have shown him how to do it.
  2. Internalising emotions- he is only four but I see so much of myself in how he handles situations and emotions. I must admit, I am still learning how to tame the tiger but I remember many a time that I promised myself I would pack my bags in the morning and run away or went to bed without eating my dinner all because mum had been upset at me. I see how he responds sometimes when he is angry at me for disturbing his play and a part of me can see the cogwheels turning in his brain and wondering if he ever thinks like I used to. I hope that as he grows, I can teach him what I have learnt so far in managing emotions and not internalising them.
  3. Watching TV whilst lying on his back- this used to be my favourite TV watching position and I can fondly remember watching SABC 3 back in the days and trying to learn tennis and cricket because those were the only things that were entertaining after school in our limited channel TV set back then.
  4. Spending forever chewing one mouthful-  I fondly remember my mum telling me that you didn’t need to chew porridge or yogurt. Mum would say I was possible the only person who would chew WATER!!! Sadly Losika has developed the same trait of keeping each mouthful a lot longer in the mouth which can be frustrating as I try and ensure he completes his breakfast in the morning hustle and bustle.

Surely I am not the only parent who sees themselves in their child. Comment below and let me know that I am not crazy… I know I may be but hoping I am now hehe

Losika Writes lands in Botswana!!!

We have some great news for those who have been sending messages to find out where to get our beautiful products in Botswana. All in time for Christmas too!

Losika Writes products are available for PICK UP by contacting the details on our website whilst we finalise stockists in the next few months.

All orders to be processed via the website using discount code “BOTSWANA” or using this link to the website directly.

Also, listen to our recent 10 min interview with Kinderling radio to explain our “WHY”- the reason we do what we do.

Kinderling radio

Merry Christmas from all of us and thank you very much for your support. May we all enjoy the silly season and have a prosperous 2019.

Much love

Reflection- How language shapes the way we think…

reflection

I am one of those people who is always reading and when online, I do get carried away with opening new tabs. I must admit, I will often have more than 100 tabs open at a time… oops. I do then make time to read through each tab and most of the time, find beautiful gems like the TED talk by Lera Boroditsky, a cognitive scientist, about “How language shapes the way we think.” On finding out there are about 7000 languages on earth, my next thought was – how many of those languages are found in print? How many of these languages become extinct every decade because speaking that language “is not as cool as speaking a foreign colonial or adopted language?’

Having attended private school “aka English medium” in all my primary and high school education in Botswana, you wouldn’t have to look far to find people who were not keen to speak the local language despite living amongst people who spoke the language. To then have age mates who elected to only communicate with their children in English whilst living in Botswana was a very interesting phenomenon for me. To top that off, you could find a Kagiso married to a Kelebogile but having kids called Andrew, Katherine etc to help the kids “adjust in an English world”. The understanding of the above decisions was that being a monolingual, English only speaker, somehow made you more intelligent. English is a great language and one that can allow communication between multitudes of people globally, but we shouldn’t let the knowledge of English, be detrimental to Setswana as a whole.

Sadly, on reflection and more so after watching the Ted talk, all that is apparent to me is that we are probably gradually making our language extinct and hence the real ambition behind Losika Writes. To try, in my little corner of the world, to take our beautiful Setswana off the endangered list. Support the movement and buy your little one some books at www.losikawrites.com.

Enjoy the TED talk and looking forward to your opinions about the topic discussed.

Our first magazine feature!!!!!

First Feature

We celebrate all milestones and this one is no exception.

We have been featured on MamaMag Eastside issue for April/May 2018 discussing the importance of “Keeping Language alive.” Grab your copy/read our article online and please support Losika Writes as we strive to celebrate our language diversity.

Our books are available as English only text or bilingual (Tswana/English and Ndebele/English books)

Losika Writes website – www.losikawrites.com

MamaMag link – Keeping Language Alive – page 42

 

 

 

Celebrations all round…

Losika final logo

Losika Writes is proud to announce that we have made an e-book version of the Savannah book… Wooohooo!!! We are working on more books having the e-book format as well as increasing the languages on offer but until then we hope you can support our side hustle and get yourself or your kids/nieces/friends/neighbours a copy and writing a quick review about the books.

Below are the links to get you to the books (board books and the e-book versions).

Happy shopping and have a great week ahead!!!

  1. Losika Writes website
  2. Google Books
  3. Google Play