We place immense trust in the hands of people we don’t know but those we interact with in society.
We trust that when traffic lights turn red and the pedestrian lights green, that the people driving towards the pedestrian crossing will stop.
We trust that as we wait to cross the road or wait for the train, none of our fellow pedestrians won’t push us into the path of an oncoming car/train
We trust that when you go out for a meal, the people providing catering are washing their hands and not doing anything inappropriate to our food before it is served.
We trust that when we go on our merry way, we will find our way home in peace.
I was in Melbourne city this past Saturday, a day following the senseless loss of lives in Christchurch due to the actions of one white supremacist killer. It was Formula One Grand Prix weekend and the city had a palpable buzz which was soon accompanied by low flying planes to celebrate the beginning of the car racing festivities. My young son and I were train and tram hopping as usual but the sounds, the people and everything that had happened the day before challenged the trust I would normally give without question. It all made me feel so uneasy we had to go home. Trying to be on look out of people around you who might turn against you is emotionally and mentally exhausting and a reality I am very far from accepting as the norm. I don’t know what we can do to stop this pervasive fear because we can’t let those who choose to divide us, win.
It was a great honor to present to the beautiful women of Africa Day Australia as a guest speaker on this momentous occasion. I thought I would share my speech below for those who couldn’t make it to share as we celebrate women and the men who allow us to stand tall. Hope you enjoy it. Let me know on the comments please.
My name is Dr Tshegofatso (Teah) Mogae. I am a bit nervous so I hope I will not have verbal diarrhoea and divulge all my secrets. I am a mum, wife, medical practitioner and I own a small business called Losika Writes. I was kindly asked to provide a speech to an awesome bunch of women to celebrate international women’s day and I thought, sure why not. I am a woman, tick so I already tick that box at least. But then I had to decide what to talk about and that was the tricky bit.
Do I talk how being born a female in 2019 still sucks compared to being born a male anywhere in the world? Or about how 1 in 2 women in Australia will experience sexual harassment in their lifetime? Or how despite working hard women earn 85c compared to $1 earnt by men doing the same jobs yet then still do the bulk of unpaid care work at home.
So you can understand how if I was to talk about the #metoo movement or how 10 women and 1 child have died since the beginning of 2019 in Australia alone or how women such as Ms Rahaf Alqanun have to literally run away from their homes and lock themselves in hotel rooms to get tell the world of the plight of women in different parts of the world how sad my talk would be. I think these issues are important discussions to be had and I am sure we can make time for each of them, but I thought I would be uplifting on this special day.
So for that I turned towards the theme for this year which is balance for better. First thing I thought was oh no, they want me to talk about how work life balance and how I am amazing at that. Well, I did say I was juggling motherhood, being a doctor, lecturer, business owner etc so I must admit that work life balance is a mythical creature in my life. On further review though, the theme is about creating a gender balanced world which I think is a great challenge we as women face.
On this, the 108th celebration of international women’s day can we try to spice things up a bit and hopefully try and get equality quicker than the 202 years projected for equality at the current rate. That means, with everything remaining the same, it will only be my great, great, great, great, great, grand daughters who would get to enjoy the fruits of our labour so I thought we could get things rolling a lot sooner. I understand that we have already made great strides as women in the recent centuries, but I am challenging us to try and pick up the pace. It was almost a hundred years ago that women discussed with the men in their lives the importance of equality in terms of casting a vote in the USA. Following that, MEN then voted to allow women to cast their own votes.
So why don’t we follow in their lead to make men be the ones working harder for our equality?
So why don’t we get the men in our lives to recognise when women are not being treated equally and to do something about it?
Why don’t we get the men in our lives to question when they are invited to board meetings or panels that don’t involve any women?
Why don’t we get the men in our lives to call out and have a zero tolerance to sexual harassment of women?
Why don’t we teach our sons that being a man doesn’t involve showing strength by beating up women but rather by building them up?
Why don’t we get the investor men in our lives to question why board members of the companies they invest in don’t have women on board?
Why don’t we get the leading mean in our lives to know that trying to rule a country with political parties, or institutions with only males at the helm is like trying to fly a 747 aeroplane with only 50% engine capacity, a recipe for disaster.
Women account for 50% of the worlds population so I think it is about time some of those men stood up and made room for our fabulousness at the table. All men come from a woman, were cared for by a woman, were nursed and probably taught by a woman to become who they are. So surely, we should ensure they know how fabulous we are.
They shouldn’t just stand up to pull our chairs or to open doors for us, they should question why we are not shoulder to shoulder with them and make room for us at the table.
It all starts with us owning our power and educating the men we birth and raise, the men we grow up with, the men we love and interact with and all men in general to stand up for our equality. So let us get to it ladies, this job needs all of us.
I am one of those people who is always reading and when online, I do get carried away with opening new tabs. I must admit, I will often have more than 100 tabs open at a time… oops. I do then make time to read through each tab and most of the time, find beautiful gems like the TED talk by Lera Boroditsky, a cognitive scientist, about “How language shapes the way we think.” On finding out there are about 7000 languages on earth, my next thought was – how many of those languages are found in print? How many of these languages become extinct every decade because speaking that language “is not as cool as speaking a foreign colonial or adopted language?’
Having attended private school “aka English medium” in all my primary and high school education in Botswana, you wouldn’t have to look far to find people who were not keen to speak the local language despite living amongst people who spoke the language. To then have age mates who elected to only communicate with their children in English whilst living in Botswana was a very interesting phenomenon for me. To top that off, you could find a Kagiso married to a Kelebogile but having kids called Andrew, Katherine etc to help the kids “adjust in an English world”. The understanding of the above decisions was that being a monolingual, English only speaker, somehow made you more intelligent. English is a great language and one that can allow communication between multitudes of people globally, but we shouldn’t let the knowledge of English, be detrimental to Setswana as a whole.
Sadly, on reflection and more so after watching the Ted talk, all that is apparent to me is that we are probably gradually making our language extinct and hence the real ambition behind Losika Writes. To try, in my little corner of the world, to take our beautiful Setswana off the endangered list. Support the movement and buy your little one some books at www.losikawrites.com.
Enjoy the TED talk and looking forward to your opinions about the topic discussed.
As a mum to an active hyperactive toddler, play is always part of our day somehow. But with working full time, having 2 side hustles- Losika Writes and home, running a household etc, sometimes one wishes that there were more hours to the day let alone dedicate some play time. So I am proud to say, I recently made time to play with my boys and we sure had a great time. I have promised myself to try and do this weekly at the minimum and so far have been going well. I thought I would share some crazy pictures we took on our escapade.
Losika Writes (www.losikawrites.com) – Bilingual children’s picture books- get your own copy and support small business
A while ago, I wrote a blog entry about ” Write it down and make it happen “ This was about how important it is to make your intentions known to the universe and working hard to make those intentions a reality.
Well, we have been working hard on one of those many “intentions”, hence the sporadic blog writing, and it is with great pleasure that I now let you in on a little secret…
Inspired by our son Losika, we have developed a collection of children’s picture books, some of which are bilingual (Tswana/English, Ndebele/English) to help in passing down our beautiful language to the next generation.
We are proud of the quality product and hope that you enjoy reading the books, as much as we have enjoyed creating the collection. We are continuously working to add to the collection and look forward to your support…
Head to Losika Writes and use discount code #LAUNCH to get a 20% discount on all the books…
Growing up in Gaborone, my family truly cherished Christmas and the celebrations that the festive season came with. Since primary school, Christmas celebrations tended to start from the end of September with regular rehearsals of the nativity play and everything that was part of the end of year school concert. My friend Maipelo would always have a narration part and I would have a sidekick job being King Harold, Joseph or Mary. There would be traditional dancing, singing, marimba and multiple other activities. As the final days drew closer, rehearsals would either move to Maitisong or Legae Academy Halls which came with a certain level of excitement as we ventured out of school for rehearsals. Midway through the eagerness, we would have to calm our nerves to write our final examinations for the year and with those completed, concert preparations were full swing which basically meant, going to school to spend the whole day rehearsing. The curtain raiser entertainment would eventually give way to the main event and as the concert evening concluded it would only be a few days before school was finally out.
There was a tradition of having a “resolution day”, if I may call it that, on the last day of school which basically meant if anyone had said something to you/looked at you wrong at some point earlier in the year or whatever you wanted to “resolve”, the last day of school was the day. I remember being involved in a fight in grade 2 because some girls of another class of the same grade, had said a friend of mine had balloons in her a*s. Childish looking back at it now, but it was the done thing at the time.
School would finish late November or early December and the 6-week holidays would begin. Some of my friends would leave town and travel to their hometowns but my sister and I would always remain in town. We would usually spend our days, watching television or going to the town library which had some holiday activities available. Occasionally, we would spend the afternoon playing traditional ball based play (sekonti ball, ma-roundas) with the neighbourhood kids, ensuring that we got home and showered before mum knocked off to avoid a hiding.
My father would usually start his leave mid-November to start his farming hobby. He would spend weeks sitting on the tractor, ploughing for his farm neighbours and would return bearing gifts with all the income he got. My mother would work until the last week before Christmas. Her work would usually host a children’s Christmas party and give away traditional British Christmas food which my sister and I never really enjoyed. To this day, the smell of traditional pudding, which my mother cooked for hours on Christmas Eve, still irks me.
Christmas mornings were reserved for opening presents and getting dressing in new, often matching princess-like dresses for my sister and me with usual sparkly accessories. We would attend the morning service at church and return home for lunch. As my mother’s boss would visit then, we had to remain in these clothes the whole time he was there and in our best behaviour which at the time seemed like a heavy imposition on us. As my mother’s boss was British, his version of Christmas was very different to ours and as he provided the catering, we would have a traditional British lunch with turkey, pudding and all the trimmings. This is despite it usually being hot in Africa at Christmas time.
My fondest memory of Christmas is a rare one we spent with our extended family in Mookane, a little country town where my mother grew up. All my cousins came over and I remember having the best time. We played hide and seek, lit fireworks, made our own fireworks, played till the sun went down. I think my grandmother lost her voice at the end of the visit from yelling at us and calling everyone the same name.
I do miss my childhood Christmas, more so being close to my mother and sister as we are currently spending Christmas on 3 different continents. I also miss the gospel and Christmas carols singing, the nativity plays and talking about the true meaning of Christmas. I hope that in time, my family will develop our own traditions around the holidays, which will create amazing memories for my son.
With that, I will take this time to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, whatever it means to you and however you choose to celebrate.
Afro Mummy Doc 
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