Losika Writes lands in Botswana!!!

We have some great news for those who have been sending messages to find out where to get our beautiful products in Botswana. All in time for Christmas too!

Losika Writes products are available for PICK UP by contacting the details on our website whilst we finalise stockists in the next few months.

All orders to be processed via the website using discount code “BOTSWANA” or using this link to the website directly.

Also, listen to our recent 10 min interview with Kinderling radio to explain our “WHY”- the reason we do what we do.

Merry Christmas from all of us and thank you very much for your support. May we all enjoy the silly season and have a prosperous 2019.

Much love

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RACISM has no excuse!!!

Today I was accused of stealing a patient’s $100 bill at work. She claimed that I had fleeced her of her money last week and “unless there is someone else in this clinic who looks like me”, then it was obviously me who could have taken her money under false pretences. Now granted, we did have a consultation last week and I organised a surgical excision which would have had an out of pocket cost compared to her usual bulk billed consults. However as all of us should know, doctors never handle money as that is what reception is for, there is no way I would have processed payment for an anticipated procedure. Trying to highlight this flaw in her thinking just led to more venomous attacks of me and going on about how unless someone “like me”, and when asked to elaborate on what she meant, she reported “black people like me”, I could be the only person who took her money.

 

Not only was this hurtful as I had looked after this patient for a year now through challenging times with her family, it was sadly not the first time I have had racist insults hurled in my face by members of our community. I have been insulted in the presence of my then 3-year-old son, and informed that the reason we are brown is because we are the s*#t of the society whilst on a train home from a city outing.

 

Today however was different and to me sadder as I realised that people who have never experienced racism are quick to make excuses for racist behaviour. The trending ones for today was “she is old, she might have dementia” as if getting old and maybe having dementia have RACISM as a side effect. Excuses for the guy on the train was “maybe he was drunk, maybe he was high” again as if drugs and alcohol should have RACISM as a listed side effect. Now, racism is not a side effect of any of the above or any other reasons people might excuse. You are racist and for whatever reasons you might become disinhibited enough to actually spill your vile ideas.

 

When someone is being subjected to such, I would advise that if you are someone who has witnessed such behaviour- call it out for what it is, listen to the distress of the person who has been vilified and say, “I am sorry you have had to endure this today”. It is the equivalent of being quiet when breaking bad news etc when the less you speak actually speaks volumes. There is no need to try and pretend people were not trying to be racist when they are or worse excusing their behaviour.

 

I admit, I am guilty of not calling out such behaviour because I actually hate to bring up the so-called race card and I am really not confrontational. Today, the whole experience was surreal, as if someone was going to come out of the woodworks and say “smile, you are on candid camera” or living through Jodi Picoults book of Small Great Things where an African American nurse was falsely accused of killing a child of a Caucasian couple. I think the realisation of what happened, the response of my boss and practice manager to the incident has actually just dawned on me and actually made me upset and very angry. I thought I would channel these feelings and educate and hopefully look forward to going to work tomorrow and a future where my chocolate flavoured son won’t have to deal with this as his norm.

 

Thanks for reading till the end, as I try and calm down and come up with a plan of what to do about this tommorow.

The day endometriosis nearly killed me…

I woke up with the most excruciating pain and large volume, sudden onset vomiting. The time was probably a little before midnight as I staggered to my parents’ bedroom to let mum know I wasn’t feeling all too well. As mum is a sympathetic vomiter, i.e vomits when she sees anyone else’s vomit, she kindly advised me to try and small sips of water and she would try to get the floors clean. I had to sit in the lounge room, covered with a little blanket as I tried to deduce what could have made me so violently unwell. I recalled the day well. I had been to school and been home without anything eventful. Dinner was a non-event either and the following day was another school day. Every small sip of water or milk seemed to increase the pain in my tummy and before long I was vomiting again. Mum, although not a doctor, diagnosed a simple case of gastro and told me to try and sleep it off.

After a lot more vomits, the spilled contents gradually changed from food to bilious green and eventually coffee grounds colour with flecks of blood. Only on seeing the blood did mum think it wasn’t’ “gala” (gastrointestinal imbalance) and thought best we presented to the hospital. By now it had been a few hours of ongoing vomiting with me feeling completely weak and unable to walk. We quickly drove to Gaborone Private hospital, as I cried in the back seat, urging her to drive through red lights as the pain was most excruciating. On arrival, almost passing out from the pain, I was immediately sent off for surgery to manage a bleeding peptic ulcer. I remember telling the doctor in charge how much I loved him for the morphine and anti-vomiting medication he had administered.

I was 15 years old at the time and used to having severe debilitating period pains that would often make me miss a few days of school each month. I had had my period the day prior to being unwell, and not trying to miss school again, had inadvertently taken an overdose of ibuprofen to manage the pain and had caused myself to have a bleeding ulcer. My mum and I thought that severe period pains were “normal” aspect of being female and even on post-op follow up with my GP I was informed that having excruciating period pains was an accepted part of being a female.

It wasn’t until being a medical student and having ongoing issues that I was eventually diagnosed with endometriosis. On reflection, I was able to realise that I had suffered and almost died from self-medication of this condition without ever having a diagnosis. I was made to feel that, like labour pains, there is a lot of discomfort that comes with being a female when in fact this is very far from “normal”.

Let my lived experience act as a cautionary tale that not all period pain is created the same. So educate yourself about the condition, there is plenty of information on reputable medical sites and present to your doctor if you have any suspicions that you might have this condition. Like Emma the yellow wiggle let those of us who are 1in 10 illustrate that endometriosis can be managed to some extent and, although it has no cure, it doesn’t have to define who you are.

Other sites to look up

Jean Hailes Website 

5 quick ways to save money*

 

I am yet to find someone who is always happy spending exorbitant amounts of money on life’s basic needs. I know people who can spend a whole weekend going from one store to another chasing bargains or those families in the USA who take the art of “couponing” to the extreme. I chose to think I am not that extreme but admit I am always trying to find ways in which I can get what I need/want for a reduced price. Outlined below are 5 of the ways I use to try and save a penny and I look forward to hearing some of your tips.

1. Ask- As my favourite saying goes, “If you don’t ask, the answer is NO!” Since incorporating this thinking, I can say I haven’t paid full price for electronics and furniture in recent memory. Salespeople are occasionally allowed to reduce prices and you wouldn’t know unless you ask. I must admit there are stores where I obviously don’t ask for discounts like when doing my groceries but otherwise if there is a sales person and I am shopping, especially if it is for electronics or furniture, I will always ask if there are discounts available. I have been on a power-plan for the last 3yrs where I get 40% off my electricity bill because the power company is affiliated with my insurance company.  I didn’t know about such a plan until I asked the sales person if there were any further discounts available. As your mortgage, power/phone bills, insurances etc approach the policy renewal time, get into the habit of asking for discounts to get instant savings especially if you are able to provide a comparative policy for a much cheaper price point.
2. Off-peak use- I know the peak times for power, internet and try and get some tasks done at those times to reduce the overall cost. For example, I will set the dishwasher to start a cycle at 11am when we are all at work/school or at midnight as those are off-peak times. If I am downloading large amount of content or doing system updates, I will also use the same principle. This together with trying to buy energy efficient equipment makes me think that in addition to saving money, I am having a smaller carbon footprint which is great for the environment overall.
3. Use free resources- As an avid reader, I know that this habit can become expensive after a little while and this is where my local library steps in. I have signed up for free audiobook library with the local library which I use to access audiobooks for my daily commute. The aim to read 1000 books by 3 years of a child’s age can also add up after a while but the children’s library and toy library make this task affordable and somewhat exciting as I wouldn’t possibly be able to furnish little man with all the choice he gets from the library. Another thing is that, with more information available at our fingertips with the world wide web, things like recipes/instructions are not only found in the pages of a book as an example but are available in sites such as youtube or with a quick Google search.
4. Declutter- Sorting through the stuff you already have can save you a lot of money as you most often find things that are still of good use thus eliminating the need to buy more. It is with this process I have managed to “shop my wardrobe” and find some long-lost treasures in clothes and shoes that may have needed a small repair prior to getting back to full use again thus saving money overall. You can take this to the next step and host a garage sale to get rid of things that you have outgrown and recycling that money to buy you new clothes. You can also drop these items to charity which often results in priceless feel-good hormones.
5. Buy staples on sale- this goes without saying that staples like toilet paper, petrol or nappies shouldn’t be bought at full price. Getting into the habit of seeing when they are starting to run low and then buying in bulk when on sale can save money. Buying things that one may not use because they are on sale however, is a very expensive exercise and one that I don’t encourage.
+1. Another way to save money is to prioritise your health- eating well, exercising, spending time with family and close friends and nourishing those relationships is a great way to save money. The costs of being sick can spiral out of control even with health insurance and thus it is always important to try and be healthy to minimise the outgoing costs of getting you back to health and your previous earning potential.
These are my 5+1 ways I have used to try and make the coins we make stretch a little further. Obviously, it is always great to splurge a little where you can to reward yourself for all the hard work we do in our 9-5s as well as side hustles etc. I just don’t think the splurge should ever encompass basic things like power bills etc.

What are the ways you have used and what would you suggest I use too? Please comment below and let me know.

 

Play time…

As a mum to an active hyperactive toddler, play is always part of our day somehow. But with working full time, having 2 side hustles- Losika Writes and home, running a household etc, sometimes one wishes that there were more hours to the day let alone dedicate some play time. So I am proud to say, I recently made time to play with my boys and we sure had a great time. I have promised myself to try and do this weekly at the minimum and so far have been going well. I thought I would share some crazy pictures we took on our escapade.

Losika Writes (www.losikawrites.com) – Bilingual children’s picture books- get your own copy and support small business

Give thanks

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 2 Corinthians 9:6

Wherever I have lived, there has always been something growing in the backyard or windowsill and over the years mum has even commented that I could be a model of the “backyard garden revolution” that was apparently meant to boom in Botswana in previous years. I have had bumper crops in everything that I have sown and learnt a lot of myself as I have tendered to the garden.

The main principles for me in having a successful garden include the following: –
• Patience- you don’t plant seeds today and expect to reap a bumper crop the next day, let alone next week. It takes a lot of patience, making mistakes and hopefully learning from them to finally appreciate the product at the end of the usually very long journey.
• Faith- to put a seed underground, water it daily, provide just the right amount of fertilizer, sunshine etc, there is faith that even though it might not be apparent for weeks, there is a positive change that is occurring with each day and in time, our labour will come to bear fruit. There is a belief in that, although you cannot actually see the seed underground, something magical is occurring which will one-day break through the sand barrier and show you what it has been working on
• Protection- for each little seed to become seedling which will grow to become a plant and eventually a big tree, there will always be some obstacles that they have to be protected from. This may include weeds, animal pests etc that will need to be removed from the environment for our seedlings to flourish
• Not all seeds that are planted, grow
• Love- something that looks dead as typically most seeds look, can with the right environment and love, become something truly beautiful
I have recently harvested a bumper crop from my little vegetable patch and as I was sorting everything out, ready for freezing as there was too much to be eaten on the day, I realized that I had truly been abundantly blessed. Not only from my vegetable patch but for my life in general and for that, I ALWAYS give thanks.
As we start a new season, may we all sow into our lives generously, have the patience to tend to ourselves, know that with faith everything is possible, love ourselves and protect ourselves from all those that may be pests or weeds in our lives. In time, we will reap generously.
Thank you for those who have been there since the beginning and have stuck around the crazy me, those who have recently come to join the crew and may all our plants bear lots of fruit in the new year. And may all of us be thankful.
Much love and season’s greetings
Xoxo

*Excuse me as I show off some of my beautiful produce

Adult tantrums

I know they say that you go through the terrible twos and then after that, you apparently learn to regulate your emotions. Well, I currently have a 3-year-old and I can attest that although the tantrums have eased somewhat to what they were from about 18 months of age, we still have periods where someone is clearly losing the plot. How I cope with it is to think that he is briefly possessed by an energy he cannot control and as a way of asking for help, he has to cry and throw himself on the floor. Usually, this is not anything a cuddle won’t fix. I guess it is still somewhat expected at his age though so it’s all good in a way.

Have you ever, as an adult, had a moment where you feel like you were having a tantrum? For example,

• You enter into a store to browse and potentially buy something only to have the store attendant follow you suspiciously around the store as you might not look like the “type” of customer who would buy anything, or they do the exact opposite and don’t even acknowledge your presence. You figure its best to leave the store without buying anything although there might be something you would have bought had they been more welcoming.
• You go for dinner and have to ask for every minuscule thing for your table despite everyone else having the menu/water for the table/glasses/cutlery being brought to their table without having to ask. You then leave the restaurant occasionally before the food arrives and often without leaving a service tip.
• You are a patient and present to the doctor reporting that “I need antibiotics for my sore throat” as a presenting complaint only to storm off yelling profanities when the doctor makes a clinical decision that your ailment is likely viral and they will not be prescribing any antibiotics “in case the infection goes to your chest next week” illustrated in my previous blog Things I wish patients knew…
• You are driving when another driver cuts you off and suddenly you have to make them pay for what they did by honking the horn, flipping the bird, driving erratically and yelling profanities at them.
• You are invited to a party at a certain time only to get there at the time stipulated or a few minutes later and people are still in the early stages of meal prep and the party is at least a few hours from being ready and you think it might be better just to leave. You are thus unable to enjoy any of the party as a result and spend the day on your phone or sulking.
• You come home and despite your partner being home all day and you at work the whole time, you found the house in the same state as you left it in the morning and the dreaded “what’s for dinner?” greeting you at the door. You have a shower and go straight to bed after making yourself a sandwich to see if your partner will sort something out for themselves.
• You have been leaving hints everywhere about what you would love for your birthday/mother’s day/anniversary/Xmas only for someone not to heed your advice but instead get you something you feel you have no use/need for. You smile whilst slowly dying and trying to control the emotion inside.
• You have been dating for a few years and have been talking about getting married but your partner is not proposing “at the perfect time”. You have been overseas together, spent times in secluded beaches/on top of the Eiffel tower/on the edge of the Grand Canyon or other “perfect proposal locations” where you were pretty sure he would pop the question only to leave empty-handed.  You don’t want to ask him when he will propose but you sulk for a little while after every disappointment.

These are some examples that have happened to a few people around me and, I must admit, may have occurred to me at some point and make me realize that there are things called adult tantrums. It can be really hard to regulate your emotions when you are in certain situations and sometimes you end up crying/yelling/sulking in response. I have read an amazing book called Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff by Richard Carlson, (reviewed on my blog entry titled Books I have fallen in love with… ) and sometimes I can’t help but be carried away by my emotions despite knowing that whatever it is will certainly not matter in a few months let alone in a few days. I, however, thought I would pen a little something to say, it’s okay, adult tantrums happen to the best of us. The key is to acknowledge them for what they are and learn not to dwell on the negative mood for too long. Hopefully, with time, you learn to identify it early and diffuse the inner tantrum before it becomes a full-blown meltdown.

 

 

Potty update…

 

 

So I can officially join the mothers club “we have potty trained toddlers”… wooohooooo! Mr L has made me a proud mommy as 3 weeks of training has resulted in a confident user of the potty for both number 1s and 2s. Although there were initial teething issues as childcare always seemed to undo all our hard work on the days he was there, we are now singing the same song.

Now the problem is that, although we are now great with the potty, we are unable to use an adult toilet without the potty seat. This makes negotiating the world difficult as I am still to find a portable potty seat I might be able to fit into a small bag for those times nature calls whilst out shopping for example. Also, how do people deal with toddlers who need to pee whilst in the middle of the freeway?

Regardless we celebrate each milestone and I am happy with the progress so far.

Married life

A friend recently got engaged and coyly asked if there was any advice I could offer her with regards to being married. I promised I would write something for her and even though I haven’t been in this institution too long, I thought I could offer my 5 cents.

As there are numerous books published on the topic, I thought I would write my top 5 married life tips.

1. Marriage is a long-term relationship- so enter it knowing that you are in it for the long run. I understand that there has been a steady increase in divorce rates worldwide, but ideally, that shouldn’t be an option as you enter your union. “In good times and bad, in sickness and in health,” implies that it won’t always be rainbows and unicorns and that it sometimes does suck *ss, but you have to always be ready to fight for your marriage if it’s worth fighting for that is.

2. Choose your marriage partner well- to do that, one must know who they are and what they want in life. This includes knowing your non-negotiables and negotiables in a relationship. If you really don’t want to deal with other people in your relationship or potentially playing second fiddle in your significant others’ life, it might be wise to reconsider marrying someone who already has children as it might mean their ex-partner will always feature in their life, and by association your life, and their children will probably always come first.  Additionally, don’t choose a partner you plan to “fix” or that you plan to make your lifelong project because when you finally realise that they may never change, you might be too far invested in the relationship.

3. Communication is key- this is one of the pillars of a great relationship. As you plan your wedding day/new house/names for your children, it’s important that you actually communicate with your partner every step of the day. That means talking AND THEN listening to understand NOT to reply. Communicate when you are happy/sad/upset and all other emotions because if you only communicate when you are mad, you are not doing it right.

4. A marriage is a union of two people and together they unite their families. Genesis 2:24- For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. I understand this bible verse to mean that when you choose to unite in marriage, you choose to put each other, and your new family first and your respective families second. It can be difficult for either party to cut the apron strings, especially if your family is close-knit but essentially the aim is to have a functioning INDEPENDENT new family and not merely a subset of either party’s family with other people being consulted or being in charge of decisions they should not be privy to. Setting these boundaries and having everyone understand what they mean is paramount to having a successful marriage.

5. Love like its going out of fashion- Try and dedicate time to spend with your partner and try and show them every day that you truly are grateful to have picked them for the life journey and you want to grow old together. This can be difficult when you both work fulltime, no nanny/babysitter, or the weather doesn’t cooperate for example but it really doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top kind of stuff. Hold hands, kiss each other hello/goodbye/I miss you, go for a bike ride/walk, have an indoor picnic etc. All these are free or relatively inexpensive and the sentiment they impart is priceless. We are never informed how long we have on earth with our loved one, and having counselled widows and widowers, most regret not cherishing or celebrating what they had with their loved ones. Like belly buttons, people will always have an opinion about whatever you do in life so dance in the rain and let them talk.

 

*image cliparts.co

 

Potty training

There comes a time when a man must learn to sit on the potty for all urine and faecal matter transactions and I think we have long arrived at that said time with the little man. I have been trying to get this sorted for the last week after reading blogs and researching the best methods that should “potty train your son in 2 days or less”. I honestly don’t think you can go from nappies to none in 24hrs like people have been telling me “from experience” and I will take any advice on how that is done with a grain of salt. Like labour pain, I think people really do forget how things really work and when you ask, years later, they fudge the numbers for the better. So we have decided to forge ahead and do it our way.

So far, little man is content to sit on the potty and he could sit on it all day but not a drop of urine is allowed to escape the bladder. We have tried rewards, taking the iPad away/giving him the iPad, distraction techniques and yes occasionally we have what I think is an accidental wee in the potty which we obviously celebrate over enthusiastically only to get back to square one, dry as the Sahara desert. We have nudie weekends and have big boy underwear days which is supposedly meant to offer some encouragement too. My consolation is that at least now someone asks for the potty AFTER he has already done a wee in the nappy so I am hoping one day soon, he will let me know before he lets loose. I have set a target of no nappies by Christmas and hoping that it comes true, fingers crossed…
Any advice that actually works, apart from rain dancing because that I have been diligently doing daily, would be most appreciated…

*Image- babypregnancycare.com